Jurassic Geass
by Roxius
Summary: EDIT: Sorry, I spelled the title wrong, but it's fixed. A short story set in an alternate universe, where some of the characters have turned into ferocious dinosaurs, and Lelouch and Suzaku have to survive. Not meant to be taken seriously at all. Crack fic.


Lelouch Lamperouge awoke that morning with an assault rifle in his hands. It wasn't some mistake; he always went to bed with one. It was a very dangerous world, and unless he always kept himself at the ready, it could become a matter of life or death quite easily. He had no reason to stay inside, but honestly, he couldn't bring himself to leave anymore. He couldn't leave the people he cared about behind. He was better than that. He had dedicated his life to a fight for survival.

Removing his bed covers, he pulled himself out of bed, his eyes scanning the bedroom filled with sunlight. Lelouch took a brief look to make sure the safety on his gun had been turned off. His next point was to look at his closet, where he had stored the body of a certain vile creature the day before. He strained his ears to listen for a sound. He didn't hear anything.

'It looks like it hasn't woken up yet...,' he thought with a sigh of relief. Unfortunately, that hope was dashed a second later. The closet door began to violently tremble. He rolled his eyes. They always had to wait right until the person thought it was safe before trying to scare the living hell out of them. The door was shaking off its hinges; it was clearly enraged now. This time, it would be either fight or flight. Lelouch raised his gun, ready for anything.

He had a feeling it would be of little use, though, if it survived such a previous onslaught. It looked like its immortality had carried over when it transformed.

The door burst apart in an explosion of splinters, and a large, six-foot tall Dilophosaurus stepped out. It wore a torn straitjacket over its slender body, and lime-green hair, almost like a wig, hung down the sides of its head. Two orange-red crests jutted out of the top of its skull. The dinosaur sniffed for a few seconds before taking another step. Not once did it take its steely gaze off of the young man staring back at it. There was something strangely human in its movements; a clear call back to its previous form. The stench of old pizza filled the air as the beast fully emerged from its holding cell. Lelouch kept his gun aimed on the dinosaur's muzzle. A brief sense of sadness overcame him.

"C.C..." Lelouch murmured to himself.

The Dilophosaurus charged. Lelouch pulled the trigger, dropping the dinosaur instantly. However, it started pulling itself back up a few seconds later. It was even sturdier than the human C.C. was. Lelouch ran for the door. The dinosaur howled at his back, and he slammed the bedroom door behind it. The young man paced himself as he ran down the hall; he looked everywhere for signs of an impending attack. The ark hallway was filled with shadow broken up by walls of light. Many of the windows were broken, or covered in splashes of dry blood. Pieces of clothing and bodies were strewn messily over the carpeted floor. Lelouch was careful not to step on anything too wet or squishy.

Lelouch was almost at the corridor's end, which led into a corner. However, he ran into another dead-end of misfortune, as a pair of Deinonychus jumped out of the darkness in front of him. They both wore Ashford Academy female uniforms, but they were in an unrepairable state of tatters. The one on the left had blonde feathers, while the one on the right had red feathers. It was Milly Ashford and Shirley Fennette, close friends of Lelouch's. Or at least, they used to be. Now, they were just mindless killing machines.

Milly hissed. Lelouch stepped back, keeping his gun steady all the while. He didn't want to shoot them. He hoped that he would one day find a cure for them. Unlike C.C., who had immortality, these two would be dead the moment he shot them. Unfortunately, it was either him or them. And he couldn't let them win. Lelouch prepared to fire the gun at the approaching dinosaurs. Milly growled under its breath, while Shirley softly cooed. They were smart enough to recognize the weapon in Lelouch's hands. They wanted to eat him, but they couldn't attack him while he was holding it.

Milly started stalking one side while Shirley went the other. Lelouch walked back a few more steps so he could keep his sight on both of them. The moment he let either one of them out of his focus, it would be all over.

Suddenly, a familiar roar pierced the silence; it was C.C. again. Lelouch could hear her heavy stomping rapidly came closer and closer. Milly and Shirley began screeching in response. However, this turned into a blessing. The Deinonychus rushed past Lelouch without a second glance; it seemed that C.C. was intruding upon their newly established territory. Either that, or they thought she would make a much better meal. Lelouch turned and watched as the tinier, bird-like dinosaurs nipped and snapped at the more imposing dinosaur. Milly bit at C.C.'s heel, eliciting an angry bark. It was like watching a Crocodile get picked on by a pair of Yorkshire Terriers. It was a surreal scene.

More surreal than usual, anyway.

Lelouch dashed around the corner as the dinosaurs continued to fight amongst themselves. He kept running and running. He didn't hear the dinosaurs following him, and he didn't see anything around either. It seemed he had finally reached a 'safe zone' inside of the school's interior. Taking a few moments to catch his breath, Leouch thought back on how everything began.

'Yes...how this whole horrible mess started...'

Unfortunately, the sound of a massive roar erupted through the grand hall, shaking the young man down to his very bones. It was nothing like C.C., Milly or Shirley. It was the call of the largest and deadliest of the dinosaurs; a Tyrannosaurus Rex. As far as Lelouch knew, there was only one T-Rex that roamed the academy. It was another former friend of his. This was one dinosaur he didn't think he could kill with just an assault rifle.

Lelouch kept moving. He eventually arrived at the grand hall of the decimated academy grounds; a wide, open space. School banners hung like limp bundles of weeds from the ceiling, stone pillars laid in piles of rubble, and rotting corpses were abound. There were bodies of both humans and dinosaurs; it seemed some people died fighting, or there were other survivors. As far as Lelouch knew, though, there was just one other survivor than himself. That person was...

"Hey, Lelouch!"

Lelouch had never been more relieved to hear a human voice. It was Suzaku Kururugi, his best friend since childhood. As the young man approached, Lelouch could see that his face was slathered in blood and tiny chunks of what he assumed was skin. Suzaku didn't seem to notice it, because he kept talking away while smiling as cheerfully as ever.

"It's good to see you again. Man, I was afraid C.C. would get you or something!" Suzaku chuckled, an inappropriate action considering the situation, but he was better at becoming accustomed to worst-case scenarios.

"Hey, it's a good thing you helped me lock her up in that closet last night. She revived, like we thought, but it still left me enough time to prepare myself, so I escaped. Ran into a bit of trouble with Milly and Shirley, but C.C. ended up helping me out. They didn't follow me." Lelouch explained.

"That's good, that's good."

"By the way...what happened to you?" Lelouch finally mustered up the courage to ask.

Suzaku laughed, sitting down on an overturned pillar. "I ran into Kallen. She was eating Rivalz, the poor bastard. I shot at her a few times, and she roared at me, spitting her half-eaten chow all over me. I ran away as fast as I could."

"What?" Lelouch gasped, "She didn't follow you, did she?"

"As you can clearly tell, she didn't. I think she was more interested in the meal than going after a mild annoyance like myself."

"Okay...good..." Lelouch breathed, clutching at his chest. If Kallen had followed him...Lelouch didn't want to think about it.

"So what should we do now?"

As soon as Suzaku said that, the stained glass window overlooking them exploded. Shards of glass fell over the two young men like a sudden shower of rain. Their eyes flew upward, as did the barrels of their guns. The corpse of Rivalz the Iguanodon came tumbling down beside them; blood and some lightly-chewed organs spilled out of the gaping hole in its stomach. The poor creature's face was contorted with permanent terror. A much larger, more menacing beast followed after it. Suzaku and Lelouch started running again.

Kallen was much bigger than the average Tyrannosaurus Rex. It stood tall enough to reach the ceiling, and its jaws were large enough to carry an Iguanodon. Like the other dinosaurs, it still had the human's lovely red locks, but instead of a school uniform, it wore an ill-fitting jumpsuit. Somehow, the outfit had been able to stretch enough to remain wearable on a creature as long as two freight rigs back to back. Its teeth, its feet, its tail, just about every part of Kallen was powerful enough to kill both men in a single strike. Its hide was too tough for bullets. The only option Lelouch and Suzaku had was to avoid it as long as possible. Tremendous power and hell-bound determination made this one a particular pain in the ass.

Lelouch was glaring at Suzaku for two whole minutes before the latter took notice.

"...What?" Suzaku asked.

"It did follow you."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know, okay?"

"Damn you!"

"I don't think it followed me, anyway. It was probably passing by outside and overheard us!"

"Right, okay. That doesn't change the fact that it wants us dead."

"I know."

It was just an average day at Ashford Academy for these two.


End file.
